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Age of Mythology Heaven » Forums » Scenario Design » The Third Periodically Held Designer Awards - Presentations
Topic Subject:The Third Periodically Held Designer Awards - Presentations
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posted 16 April 2006 07:42 AM EDT (US)         
It is twenty minutes before the start of the show. Camera crews are running around, throwing and catching film reels. Correspondants from major networks anxiously loosen their ties, waiting to broadcast. But, there a legend in the awards business waiting about, smelling the air. They will be the first ones to broadcast. And 6 million viewers will tune into them. They are...Joan and Mellisa Rivers!

Joan: Hello, and welcome to the pre-award broadcast for the 3rd Somewhat-Periodically-Held Scenario Design Awards!
Mellisa: It's a b-e-a-utiful night out here, perfect for the awards!
Joan: Ooo! Look, the nominees and invitees are starting to walk down the carpet.
Mellisa: There's Archaeopterix soaring down from the skies!
Joan: And here comes the fruit! Papaya and I Love Bananas!
Mellisa: I've always loved the fruits. They're so delicious!
Joan: Here comes the people with actual names! Oscar, Matei, Stephen Caines, and Felix Hermansson!
Mellisa: What's this? The lights are turning out! And there's a glowing red light over there!
Joan: We know what that means! Sith is here!
Mellisa: The awards should be starting any minute now.

Lights flicker out, spotlight goes on stage.

Joan: And here's the host coming out!

*Applause fills the theatre*

FD2: Hello, and welcome everyone to the 3rd Somewhat-Periodically-Held Scenario Design Awards! I'm your host, FD2!


FD2: The first award, of the best scenario of the year, goes to Oscar for The Lost Legion!

*Applause as Oscar walks up to the stage*

Oscar: This is such an honor! I'd like to thank the academy, and everyone who voted. I'd also like to thank my parents for supporting me through the process, my manager for helping me find this game, my roomate for all the awesome parties, my second cousin for calling me on the phone when I had writer's block, my monkey's uncle for...

FD2 nods to Sith as he walks up on stage and slashes Oscar with a lightsaber

FD2: I'm sorry, I forgot to mention the zero tolerance policy on long acceptance speeches. Sith will help be enforce this. Now, everyone likes a good time online, so the next award is for Best Multiplayer scenario. And the award goes to...BESTGUYEVER402 for Cat and Mouse XXXtreme Edition!

King Jared walks on stage

King Jared: Uh, FD2, he wasn't even nominated.
FD2: Sorry, it was a personal bias. Cat and Mouse XXXtreme Edition gave me long hours of happiness.
King Jared: Whatever, FD. Just whatever. Whatever floats your boat.
FD2: I'll choose to take that as a compliment. A smaller boat is more lightweight, and thus races faster.
King Jared: But what is the velocity of a swallow?
FD2: An African swallow or a European swallow?1
King Jared: A Caldera! The award goes to Heroines from Arch and Shrink!

Archaeopterix swoops down and grabs the trophy, as Shrink walks up the red carpet

Arch: Yay.
Shrink: Yay.

Sith nods in approval of the speech length

FD2: The next award is for the people with internet. Which represents no one reading this. Because, the winner of best single player scenario is...Heroes Chronicles by Guardian!

Thousands of Guardian smurfs clutter the stage, as Sith takes out his bansaber and slashes them all and they disappear

Sith: Heh, they forgot to take the trophy.

Sith pockets trophy

FD2: Next is the one and only Best Designer. That's right. Best designer ever (not really, just for this year). That's serious bragging rights ('til next year, unless you win again, which is a violation of new Jersey state law). The award goes to...Oscar!

Music starts playing, Oscar is nowhere to be seen; FD2 glances at Sith

Sith: Oh, his first speech was too long. I should have used the Stunsaber if I knew he would win again.
FD2:The next award for best campaign goes to...The Guardians!


Sith: Oh, Oscar made that too.

FD2: Um, let's see what's a category Oscar wasn't nominated, Best cinematography! Going almost uncontested, the clear winner is The Vandhall for The Rhinegold!

The Vandhall runs on stage, grabs the trophy, spraypaints the curtains, and runs away

Sith: Why the spraypaint?
King Jared: His name is The Vandal, duh.
Sith: We should start reading names and not pronouncing them.
King Jared: But what if someone is saying the awards out loud while they read them?
Sith: We're screwed.
King Jared: Quite.

FD2: The next award for best cinematic goes to Mythic Cops by ptfq! Mythic Cops, being a cinematic, grossed over $526 million opening weekend.

ptfq walks up stage

ptfq: I'd like to take this monet to remind everyone my name is ptfq, not ptqf. That is all. You may leave now.

People start leaving the theatre

FD2: No! The awards aren't over yet! Quick, someone do something!

FD2 glances at Papaya to save the day

Papaya: Uh, ok...uh, I'm a fruit! I'm a fruit! I'm a fruity fruity little fruit! I'm a fruit! I'm a fruit! I'm a fruity fruity little fruit!

People start entering the theatre again

FD2: It worked! This calls for the dancing bananas!

FD2: The next award, in the same area is best cinematographer and it's a tie beweetn The Vandhall and ptfq!

ptfq and Vandhall walk up

Sith: You guys already made speeches. Sit down. Or I'll get my bansaber. Yeah. What now, punk?

FMT floats down

FMT: Abusing forums with staff powers. Now you will know what if feels like, Sith.

GillB slashes Sith with bansaber

Spineman: Yarr!
FD2: Anyway, the next award for best modpack goes to AOMplayer's New Units Pack!

King Jared: Uh, he left HG a while ago.

FD2 pockets trophy

FD2: Getting more trchnical as we speak, the next awards for Best RMS and Best RMS Scripter go to Norse Wars and Matei, respectively.

Matei walks up to the stage, a script in hand of what to say

Matei: Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal...uh...this isn't what I wrote. The scripts must have been exchanged!
FD2: I'm sorry, but you're over your time limit. YOu may take a seat, Matei. The next award for best utility goes to the one, the only, reyk's new editor!

Applause as reyk is nowhere to be seen

King Jared: He doesn't post here much.
FD2: Surely you can't be serious!
King Jared: I am serious, and don't call me Shirley.
FD2: Moving along, the Best Critic award goes to...AOMplayer, who can't be here tonight.
Papaya: If he is so unbias, why isn't he here. Does he have a bias against us?
FD2: No, I think he just read OD. The last of our regular awards, the Pointless award, (which was a great scenario) goes to the cinematic Mythic Cops by ptfq!

Applasuse as ptfq walks on stage

ptfq: I forgot to say one thing last time I was up there. I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by siwtching to Geico! I saved over 15%!

A few people exit the theatre and run to the nearest Geico office

FD2:Coming to present the special awards is former seraph Soccy! Now in un-corrupted form!
Soccy: Thank you, thank you. It's great to be back again!

Soccy puts on reading glasses

Soccy:Er...let's see...The Cheezy Award for the most productive community member goes to...King Jared!
King Jared: I'm King. You got that right. Hell yeah.
Soccy:The title-is-self-explanatory Designer Achievement Awards goes to...Oscar


FD2: Oh, that's right. He got hit with Sith's bansaber. He doesn't need to talk anyway, though. He's cleaning up.
King Jared: *ahem*
FD2: Yes?
King Jared: I'm also cleaning up.
FD2: You've won once.
King Jared: You just wait, FD. You. Just. Wait.
Soccy: Now we'd like a moment of silence to remember Shiva, our former seraph that passed away this year.


SOccy: And the Shiva Memorial Award for same outstanding leadership, compassion, helpfulness, and charisma that Shiva had, goes to...King Jared!
King Jared: Told you, FD2. Hell, that rhymes. Sweet.

Joan:That was a great broadcast we had of the 3rd Somewhat-Periodically-Held Scenario Design Awards!
Mellisa: And we'll be back next year.
Joan: Or before or after, being periodically held.

posted 16 April 2006 07:42 AM EDT (US)     1 / 40       
Here are the tabulated votes. Categories in bold, winners in italics + ed.

Best Scenario:

  • The Lost Legion - 10
  • The Third Born - 1
  • The Siege - 1
  • Heroes Chronicles - 2
  • T A C T I C A L - 2

    Best Multiplayer Scenario:
  • Heroines - 7
  • The Wrath of the Angry Narrator and a lot of Peltasts - 4
  • Project Extremely Happy - 2
  • T A C T I C A L - 2

    Best Single Player Scenario:
  • Payday (The Circe Saga IV) - 4
  • The Lost Legion - 5
  • Heroes Chronicles - 6

    Best Scenario Designer:
  • Shrink - 1
  • Oscar - 8
  • The Vandhaal - 2
  • Nodgene - 1
  • Xamolxis - 2
  • ArchNidhogg - 2

    Best Campaign:
  • The Rhinegold - 5
  • The Guardians - 8
  • The Delphic Oracle - 1
  • The Rise of Zeus - 1

    Best Scenario Cinematography:
  • The Rhinegold - 12
  • Ragnarok: The Final Battle - 1

    Best Cinematic:
  • Mythic Cops - 9
  • Christmas Chaos - 2
  • Attack of the Space Monkeys - 3

    Best Cinematographer:
  • Oscar - 3
  • The Vandhaal - 4
  • hessu - 1
  • Baron_Lopi - 2
  • ptfq - 4
  • DWIEEB - 1

    Best Modpack:
  • AoMPlayer's New Units Pack - 8
  • New Titan Project - 3
  • Captain America and the Hulk - 1

    Best Modder:

  • King Jared - 6
  • FlipBizcut - 4
  • crazydragon - 2
  • Stephen Caines - 1

    Best Random Map Script (RMS):

  • Norse Wars - 9
  • Mount Olympus - 1
  • Giants Soccer - 1
  • Blood Sport - 2

    Best Random Map Scripter:

  • Matei - 8
  • Hand of Zeus - 1
  • M0nTy PyTh0n - 4
  • TwentyOneScore - 1

    Best Utility:

  • MapGen - 1
  • New X Editor - 11
  • New Editor - 2
  • AOM Campaign Maker - 2
  • SomeNewXTriggers - 1

    Best Utility Author:

  • reyk - 17

    Best Critic/Reviewer:

  • Grün - 6
  • DWIEEB - 1
  • Anastasoulis - 4
  • Auron_ - 3
  • DeadHead - 1

    The Pointless Award:

  • Mythic Cops - 6
  • The Long Way Home - 2
  • aom_rocks - 1
  • Attack of the Space Monkeys - 3
  • Christmas Chaos - 1

    The CheeZy Award:

  • King Jared - 8
  • Titan602 - 3
  • Archaeopetrix - 2
  • Byz - 1

    The AoMH Designer Achievement Award:

  • Shrink - 1
  • Oscar - 4
  • Archaeopetrix - 3
  • The Vandhaal - 2
  • DWIEEB - 2
  • reyk - 2
  • King Jared - 1

    The Shiva Memorial Award:

  • Sith - 5
  • King Jared - 8
  • RiderOfEternity - 3
  • I Love Bananas - 1
  • Tombit
    posted 16 April 2006 08:28 AM EDT (US)     2 / 40       
    Nice presentation FD2, nice work, and congratulations to all the winners.

    Sandro The Wicke
    posted 16 April 2006 08:58 AM EDT (US)     3 / 40       
    exquisite might I say? (duh? Of course not) I never knew that Grun left because of reading some od, well anyway, it's nice to know that The Vandhaal has at least one award and that Oscar's been cut down so he can't brag again

    Keep up the nice work...

    /\/}{The Broken One}{\/\
    A Mind Shattered Upon Time As The Fragments Of Sharpened Stone Upon Darkened Void
    {|What Is Wisdom Not But What We Make It To Be|}...
    TTWDD|Current Sites|PSD
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    (id: Titan602)
    posted 16 April 2006 09:02 AM EDT (US)     4 / 40       
    Nice presentation. Congrats everyone who won!

    [Insert amazingly witty signature here.]

    Me and Yeebaagooon's scenarios | Download The Corruptor
    posted 16 April 2006 01:48 PM EDT (US)     5 / 40       
    btw.. why was I Love Bananas nominated in the Shivea memorial reward? O.o

    Leader of Liquid Fire. Animator Seb C.

    One does not simply leave HG
    (id: Titan602)
    posted 16 April 2006 02:10 PM EDT (US)     6 / 40       
    I don't know. I think it was random

    [Insert amazingly witty signature here.]

    Me and Yeebaagooon's scenarios | Download The Corruptor
    (id: EazY_Ben)
    posted 16 April 2006 02:51 PM EDT (US)     7 / 40       
    Out Reach
    (id: newreach268)
    posted 16 April 2006 03:12 PM EDT (US)     8 / 40       
    congrats everyone.

    P.S. FD2 what does your rather wrong imagination see me as?

    Out Reach
    The guy who writes the erotic fan fiction in Yeebaagoon's signature

    [This message has been edited by newreach268 (edited 04-16-2006 @ 03:13 PM).]

    King Jared
    posted 16 April 2006 05:51 PM EDT (US)     9 / 40       
    *strokes modder, CheeZy, and Shiv awards*

    Oh, and congrats to everyone else. You're all winners in my heart. Seriously, congrats, thanks to those who voted for me, and thanks for putting this together, FD2.

    Your Divine Overlord
    Aw, hell, I dunno, she had some tig-ole-bitties, d'int she?

    [This message has been edited by King Jared (edited 04-16-2006 @ 05:52 PM).]

    posted 16 April 2006 05:55 PM EDT (US)     10 / 40       
    Congratulations all

    The boy with the mad imagination
    Prepare for the ultimate duel!
    Learn to use all my triggers and what you can do with them. Visit here.
    Find out and download the transform trigger here.
    Play some minigames I have created outside AOM including some 3D games here.
    (id: jonathan1222)
    posted 16 April 2006 06:23 PM EDT (US)     11 / 40       
    Congratulations everyone, and nice presentation.

    Cavuy (formerly jonathan1222) | Writer, Graphic & Web Designer
    ex-Modder and Scenario Designer | Legacy
    Member since May 5th, 2003
    Guardian Of Isis
    posted 16 April 2006 06:39 PM EDT (US)     12 / 40       
    Yeh, I hope to see my name on that list too someday. Seems like the Oscars for AoM.

    *Me = Guardian of Isis/The God of Gods.
    *All my projects are:
    -AoM: Kronos' Revenge (DL), Dark City (DL), Legends of the Third Age (95%)
    -AoE III: Journey of Cortez (5%)
    *Check my Site and Guestbook.
    posted 16 April 2006 07:27 PM EDT (US)     13 / 40       
    Maybe that's why Oscar go so many...


    '~SwordStorm's Accomplishments~'
    '~The Vandhaal's Monkey Boy[?]~'
    '~Owner of Papaya's 3,333rd Post~'
    '~Owner of 666 post in Communitity RPG~'
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    '~Owner of Three Signatures in PF's Signature~'
    posted 16 April 2006 07:58 PM EDT (US)     14 / 40       
    Woot, Best Single Player Scenario=). I'm glad you guys liked Heroes Chronicles!
    (id: auron 2)
    posted 16 April 2006 09:01 PM EDT (US)     15 / 40       


    FD2: It worked! This calls for the dancing bananas!

    where are the dancing bananas?

    congrats to all, except to gaurdianj/k Oscar sure got alot of those categories OWNED and hey! i got 3 votes


    Auron: || Aurons Site || Aurons AoM:TT Creations || MY POETRY WEBSITE ||
    posted 16 April 2006 09:44 PM EDT (US)     16 / 40       


    Maybe that's why Oscar go so many...

    It is definitely why .

    Former level designer at Reverie World Studios.
    I still do some levels for fun, though!
    posted 16 April 2006 11:36 PM EDT (US)     17 / 40       
    Well done guys, and great writing FD2!
    posted 17 April 2006 01:02 AM EDT (US)     18 / 40       
    This must of taken you heaps long to do. Anyone congrats to all the winners.
    Citrus Caesar
    (id: The Guarding One)
    posted 17 April 2006 05:06 AM EDT (US)     19 / 40       
    It is a lemonily good thread, FD2! Congratulatté everyone! (I hope you like coffee)

    I personally think that Madonna and Condoleezza Rice should have presented the awards.

    Maid, I don't think that will be necessary.
    (id: gerbil30)
    posted 17 April 2006 06:31 AM EDT (US)     20 / 40       
    Great presentation Filmy-pie . 'Grats to all the winners aswell.

    i will only complicate you - trust in me and fall as well
    posted 17 April 2006 08:11 AM EDT (US)     21 / 40       
    A 13 year old doing the presentations? I think I'm going to die.
    posted 17 April 2006 08:45 AM EDT (US)     22 / 40       
    He is more mature than many however.

    (°¸.·`«Slick G»`·.¸°)
    I Love Bananas
    posted 17 April 2006 08:46 AM EDT (US)     23 / 40       
    A great presentation, FD2. I loved it.


    btw.. why was I Love Bananas nominated in the Shivea memorial reward? O.o

    Ask Pepsidude, who nominated me. Myself, I don't know why.

    Sweet baby maizes!
    (id: Titan602)
    posted 17 April 2006 02:42 PM EDT (US)     24 / 40       
    I never new FD2 was 13! I might still have a chance at being a mod!!!

    Once again. Congrats

    [Insert amazingly witty signature here.]

    Me and Yeebaagooon's scenarios | Download The Corruptor
    (id: X_MOSS)
    posted 17 April 2006 05:07 PM EDT (US)     25 / 40       
    Good job FD2. Congrats everyone.

    oh you can wait for what I can give
    you know what I am so you know how I live
    try to look proud but you’re not in the slightest
    its happening now and it’s always been like this.
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