A great place to look for ready made sound effects for your mods is Worms. I have Worms Armageddon, and there are a whole range of sounds, all good, some funny. Since there are individual sound effects for each weapon on Worms, you do not need to pretand that a Bazooka sound like a sword.
Good advice?
For as we all know, God made man in his own image. It'd be a sad lookout for Christians throughout the globe if God looked anything like you, Baldrick.