Bruce Shelley and Sandy Peterson, employees of Ensemble Studios and creators of Age of Empires, announced today that they were already developing they're next twisted game: “Age of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”. Willy Wonka will be a dark version of Roald Dahl's "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory". Like the previous games, this will be a game of combat and empire building.

A child of one the original children visits the Chocolate Factory returns many years later to find the factory has changed from its happy days under the supervision of Mr. Wonka. The Oompa Loompas have taken over, and have turned the machines that once made candy for children now pump out evil weapons of war for their evil crusade to cleanse the world of the humans that forced them to make candy. You are humanity's last hope, as you charge into the factory to rid the world of the mad Oompa Loompas. Armed with such weapons as razor-sharp candy bars, exploding sticky Gummy Bears and Jawbreaker launchers, you must stop the evil candy-makers before they destroy the world!

N'sync To Write Age of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Soundtrack

It was also announced today that the artist to write the music to their new Age game would be none other than N'sync, one of the most popular boy bands in the United States. This decision came as a shock to many gamers, since many were expecting Age music veterans Stephen Rippy or Kevin McMullan to pen the music to the new game, or at least another band that would be smiliar. Yet Ensemble Studios went ahead and announced the boy band to be the next artists to work with them.

"Well, we took a look at all the music in our games. Rock, metal, techno-metal, it was all getting repetitive. So we sat around thinking 'what could we do next that would be different, and popular?' Well, and easy solution was to pick up the newspaper and look at the charts. N'sync sells a lot, plus they have a lot of fans who would buy anything they put out, regardless of the quality. So they were a natural pick for us."

N'sync has already begun writing tracks for the new game, with titles like "Tearing Up My Gummy Bears", "If only my civ could do that", and "Blam Blam Blam". A spokesman for the group gave the following statement: "N'sync is grateful Ensemble Studios has given them the chance to write the music for their next hit game. Hopefully, with the talents of Ensemble Studios and the music of N'sync, we can hope to see sales through the roof and break all records in PC gaming."

Chris "Swinger" Rupp to Release Own Line Of Hair Products

Ensemble Studios unleashed its newest products today, and surprisingly, it wasn't a game. Chris Rupp, Playtester of popular games such as Age of Kings and Age of Mythology, annouced he was creating a line of hair care products for gamers. Mr. Rupp has been famous for his hair, and being the butt of many jokes about it, he has kept it through the years.

"Now that AoM has has nearly been released, I have moved my focus to other things, such as my love for hair. After seeing many LAN parties with gamers with messed-up hair, I knew it was my duty to help these poor gamers to have hair that they could be proud of. So next time you're shopping, be sure to check out Rupp Brand shampoo, conditioner, hair coloring, combs, and other fine hair products."

And remember, "If it ain't Rupp Brand, it ain't 1337!"

[This message has been edited by Stone_Giant (edited 06-09-2002 @ 02:22 PM).]