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Topic Subject: Ensemble Studios Proudly Announce Their New Game!
posted 01 April 2002 07:22 AM EDT (US)   
Ensemble Studios Proudly announces "Age of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory"

Bruce Shelley and Sandy Peterson, employees of Ensemble Studios and creators of Age of Empires, announced today that they were already developing they're next twisted game: “Age of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”. Willy Wonka will be a dark version of Roald Dahl's "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory". Like the previous games, this will be a game of combat and empire building.

A child of one the original children visits the Chocolate Factory returns many years later to find the factory has changed from its happy days under the supervision of Mr. Wonka. The Oompa Loompas have taken over, and have turned the machines that once made candy for children now pump out evil weapons of war for their evil crusade to cleanse the world of the humans that forced them to make candy. You are humanity's last hope, as you charge into the factory to rid the world of the mad Oompa Loompas. Armed with such weapons as razor-sharp candy bars, exploding sticky Gummy Bears and Jawbreaker launchers, you must stop the evil candy-makers before they destroy the world!

N'sync To Write Age of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Soundtrack

It was also announced today that the artist to write the music to their new Age game would be none other than N'sync, one of the most popular boy bands in the United States. This decision came as a shock to many gamers, since many were expecting Age music veterans Stephen Rippy or Kevin McMullan to pen the music to the new game, or at least another band that would be smiliar. Yet Ensemble Studios went ahead and announced the boy band to be the next artists to work with them.

"Well, we took a look at all the music in our games. Rock, metal, techno-metal, it was all getting repetitive. So we sat around thinking 'what could we do next that would be different, and popular?' Well, and easy solution was to pick up the newspaper and look at the charts. N'sync sells a lot, plus they have a lot of fans who would buy anything they put out, regardless of the quality. So they were a natural pick for us."

N'sync has already begun writing tracks for the new game, with titles like "Tearing Up My Gummy Bears", "If only my civ could do that", and "Blam Blam Blam". A spokesman for the group gave the following statement: "N'sync is grateful Ensemble Studios has given them the chance to write the music for their next hit game. Hopefully, with the talents of Ensemble Studios and the music of N'sync, we can hope to see sales through the roof and break all records in PC gaming."

Chris "Swinger" Rupp to Release Own Line Of Hair Products

Ensemble Studios unleashed its newest products today, and surprisingly, it wasn't a game. Chris Rupp, Playtester of popular games such as Age of Kings and Age of Mythology, annouced he was creating a line of hair care products for gamers. Mr. Rupp has been famous for his hair, and being the butt of many jokes about it, he has kept it through the years.

"Now that AoM has has nearly been released, I have moved my focus to other things, such as my love for hair. After seeing many LAN parties with gamers with messed-up hair, I knew it was my duty to help these poor gamers to have hair that they could be proud of. So next time you're shopping, be sure to check out Rupp Brand shampoo, conditioner, hair coloring, combs, and other fine hair products."

And remember, "If it ain't Rupp Brand, it ain't 1337!"

[This message has been edited by Stone_Giant (edited 06-09-2002 @ 02:22 PM).]

posted 01 April 2002 07:25 AM EDT (US)     1 / 23  


If only my civ could do that


great work

posted 01 April 2002 07:29 AM EDT (US)     2 / 23  


The Last Knight
Grasshoppers are cheap, nutritious, tasety,Kosher and easy to dissect

[This message has been edited by Last_Knight (edited 04-01-2002 @ 07:30 AM).]

posted 01 April 2002 07:39 AM EDT (US)     3 / 23  
LoL, you found out ES's secret plans for after AOM!

This new shampoo works great...

Hey hi, damn, where is my... ...fridge, y'now, its been playing... ...with his nailclippers! I didnt know what to... ...weed, cos' i'm not a gardner, unlike Old... ...cushion, now it was... ...a bit soggy, with all his diarrhoea... ...experience with the theoretical side of... ...cats, oh they are doing... ...dancing with his best friend! now I would like to... ...grasp by the hilt you see? Anyway better be... ...going to lose his socks, silly... ...frog. Cya'...
posted 01 April 2002 07:41 AM EDT (US)     4 / 23  
Take a look @ KoRT .

The Last Knight
Grasshoppers are cheap, nutritious, tasety,Kosher and easy to dissect
posted 01 April 2002 07:45 AM EDT (US)     5 / 23  


If you're like me, then it's possible you're a clone generated from my stolen DNA. I suggest you turn yourself in for destruction immediately.
posted 01 April 2002 09:13 AM EDT (US)     6 / 23  
posted 01 April 2002 10:09 AM EDT (US)     7 / 23  
AoM VIP Alpha Tester
posted 01 April 2002 11:42 AM EDT (US)     8 / 23  

Thanks to Smileyshelper for that one


posted 01 April 2002 12:12 PM EDT (US)     9 / 23  
Now I'll see that picture in my mind, each time I read one of Swinger's posts.
Classic stuff Stonie & shelper.
posted 01 April 2002 02:43 PM EDT (US)     10 / 23  
Hehe, let's boogie!
posted 01 April 2002 02:57 PM EDT (US)     11 / 23  
*compares post to a train crash, that is, you don't want to watch but can't look away*

*is scarred for life*

*never buys another ES product*

Don't worry, I'm only kidding!

Talanos | AoM + AoE3H's former Unofficial Angel
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein
posted 01 April 2002 03:37 PM EDT (US)     12 / 23  


Sounds like an excellent RPG or FPS(Alice was popular)

posted 01 April 2002 06:37 PM EDT (US)     13 / 23  
*avidly awaits Age of Wonka*

Not only do I get to kill those evil Oompa-loompas, I get to do it with chocolate? YAY!!!!!!

Call me Hal, ok?
posted 01 April 2002 06:46 PM EDT (US)     14 / 23  
good one

even though I seriously hate April Fool's Day.

posted 01 April 2002 06:56 PM EDT (US)     15 / 23  
That would make a cool shooter!

Level One: Breakin' Through

Breifing: Agent Charlie, your mission is two break through the Chocolate Factories front gate and retrive Dr. Oompa's secret plans to...dare I say it...burn all the Cacao trees in the world! Now hop to it and watch out for the Fuzwomper division guarding the front gate!

Hehe! I bet I could make it with Flash if I had the time.

Former Leader of the FPH Clan
Acting-President of AoMH
posted 01 April 2002 08:01 PM EDT (US)     16 / 23  
I saw this yesterday when Stone sent it to me. Thats nice stuff!
The pictures make it all the worth though

Angel AzN | News Editor Lead EH, HeavenGames LLC
"Damn the torpedoes! Full speed ahead!" -Admiral Farragut, Civil War Battle of Mobile Bay
HeavenGamesEmpires Heaven | 3DMark05 Score3DMark03 Score | WearYELLOW
posted 02 April 2002 00:05 AM EDT (US)     17 / 23  

Stares some more.

Stares even more.


Returns to staring.


posted 02 April 2002 03:01 AM EDT (US)     18 / 23  
Actually, what is their other product? I seem to recal it was a FPS. What was their code name? I've forgoten.
posted 02 April 2002 10:21 AM EDT (US)     19 / 23  
posted 02 April 2002 10:42 AM EDT (US)     20 / 23  



See if HG forums had avatars, we could set that up as yours, Swinger.

If you're like me, then it's possible you're a clone generated from my stolen DNA. I suggest you turn yourself in for destruction immediately.
posted 02 April 2002 01:14 PM EDT (US)     21 / 23  
*Writes a long email to heavengames demanding the use of avatars*


posted 02 April 2002 09:51 PM EDT (US)     22 / 23  
Solid work SG, very funny.

God Bless America.

I am the state.

posted 02 April 2002 09:58 PM EDT (US)     23 / 23  
Wait...thats the real Swinger..right?

Hehe, good job Stone Giant.

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